Born Knowing, Taught to Forget

It takes some years to change your mind, I mean really change it. I don’t mean just change what you believe in but how it’s actually working to interpret the world or situations you find yourself in. Mainly it just goes right back to default mode for a number of years. Everyday, you see something that tells you, this looking is truer, but it’s so fleeting in the beginning that you find yourself right back in your old seeing. This is just how it goes because the Truth is when you start out, you don’t believe in life not the way it is now or has been. Most of us have an idea that life is hard or against us. We have learned too well that it’s either all work and no play, or that we just don’t have any power over it. Self doubt is the single most insidious malady to overcome because in reality, you should be able to authentically know what you want, and then see it. In essence it should already be here. Unfortunately by now, like I’ve said before, we are seriously confused about what life is and what it’s for. We’ve grown up taking on our own parents sensations of fear and anxiety even if we don’t think so. Usually, we think we’re different, much different but we’re not.

This fear is basically what creates an identity and what does an identity do? It keeps some things in and most stuff out. It is like a closed loop of reality that mimics reality but isn’t actually it. Even so, the thinking part that informs a person, “This is who I am” is easier to change than the feeling parts. Let’s say for whatever reason you think you know what life is now, and yet, it doesn’t feel like that’s what it is. Many times a day, even if you think you know what you’re truly witnessing, your body acts the way it’s used to acting. The sensations of a personal self are so embedded and intertwined in our energetic configuration that we don’t even know they are. Even our own thinking fools us again and again because our bodily sensations just won’t match up. So for example, let’s say now you don’t think people fighting is any big deal, you know that’s their pattern, they are obligated to follow it and besides who cares, it’s none of your business anymore, you’d never get involved in some drama since it’s all perfectly insane to you now, even so, usually there’s your body stirring up some feeling of aversion or disgust even. You might even think to yourself, why am I feeling this way? Shouldn’t I be feeling some sort of compassion for these guys since they are locked into a pattern they don’t even know is there? That feels even more troubling. “Where’s my loving nature?”, you might think, the all encompassing love that everyone who says they are awake talks about? You might feel weird about it, but you are indifferent. You just don’t care what others are doing, why should you? Are you here to help anyone else when you haven’t even freed yourself yet? I leave everyone to their own game. I figure now, it’s all working perfectly so whatever I witness over there, I know that’s the experience life is giving them, what am I to argue with it? Am I your keeper? Nope, I got one dream here, just my own.

Personally now, I don’t argue. I already know you can’t see what I see so what can I argue with you about but an illusion, a misunderstanding that seems perfectly reasonable to you, and absolutely irrelevant to me? I actually see that most people like to argue. Arguing strengthens their position and they need this because all human positions are fleeting and fragile. Just think tornado, a strong wind can end you in a matter of minutes, is that any position of strength? I don’t see how. The only position of strength is knowing that when the wind blows, whether you live or die, you aren’t really going anywhere so what does it matter? One way or another death is coming for you, is it not? Does it matter when or how? I’d think that you’d want to spend your time enjoying this place but I don’t really see this too much either, everyone is so busy trying to secure their positions by trying to weaken all the other ones, when do they find time to enjoy? The whole game is exhausting and the irony that all positions fail in the end I guess is lost on almost everyone. You can’t win. You never will. Maybe get used to it. Life will have the final word, not you. Any real strength will come from accepting this. Then you might develop into what you were meant to be, a dreamer.

I walk around Walmart sometimes and see a mother fighting with her little child as if she’s teaching him something. What is she teaching him other than that he can’t win arguments no matter how stupid they are, the bigger person always wins which makes all his movements ineffective. He never forgets it. It goes right into the core pattern. No wonder most of us are so weak now. A child has no chance to develop anymore. All his capacities will be stripped away right after he learns (on his own, by his own volition) to walk and talk. Beyond that he’ll learn he needs help, there’s nothing else he can do on his own, if he does he will need permission, no thinking for yourself, that’s been outlawed, always check to see if it’s okay first. You can’t trust yourself completely, that would be outrageous.

The world is too dangerous for children now is the sentiment most adopt. We have to monitor them but a watched person isn’t really themselves anymore. The reflective coating of the other, the watcher, casts a shadow over everything. If you’re being watched, performance follows since being yourself just as you are is never enough. They don’t even know it’s happening which is how we all grow up not knowing what’s true from what isn’t. The shadow is everywhere now. It’s so bad there are camera’s on the street corners and pretty soon you’ll have one in your own home to make sure you’re following along with all the directives of the current storyline someone else thought up for you. You can’t be trusted to come up with your own. When children imagine they are so often told, “Oh that’s a nice sentiment, you’d like to do this, but that’s not how the world works, there’s no magic in it like you think there is. Here you just behave yourself, earn your keep or you get nothing.”

Astonishingly, the common sentiment is people are bad, left to your own devices you will suck. Almost everyone alive believes this and whether they actually know they believe it or not doesn’t even matter. You start off flawed and defective which is how you need so much instruction to begin with. Not even fifteen years of schooling is enough, that’s just the beginning. After this you’re so confused about what you are, you don’t have the foggiest idea of what you are capable of. You’ve learned to perform and take orders, and not much else. And usually you’ll go through a whole life never even suspecting that you have magical qualities no one told you about. If they hadn’t stripped them from you so young you wouldn’t even need to be told. You’re born knowing and then because of the way humans live, you are forced to forget. Children try to use their capacities but now if they do, they’ll go to the quiet corner or worse, maybe get slapped around a bit. It seems absurd but when you can’t decide whether you want to sit in that chair and listen or not, you’ll forget you have the capacity to even make this decision and later on, choosing becomes even more half hazard. Should I or shouldn’t I will become a huge dilemma since you’re cut off from knowing which way to proceed. You used to know, just naturally, and now, you don’t. You better weigh the odds of coming out on top first, what are the pros and cons, and all that. The fantasy that if you are careful things will work out is deeply ingrained by then even if it never does. No one ever realizes that being careful is only ever a product of fear, the same fear that will go on to contract and restrict the very life that you are. By this time, you are basically cooked, you don’t stand a chance of escaping the common reality and you’ll join the ranks of everyone living in it. Thinking really takes off then, obscuring your ability to know even further usually burying it forever. On some level, this place is no mystery at all. It’s easy to see where all the misperceptions came from and how they uphold and strengthen themselves to create even more misery on earth.

The more certain you are of this character you’ve learned to play that you call yourself and always have, the less chance you have to be free of it. Why do you want to be free of it? I don’t know. Maybe you don’t. If your life is working the way you want it to twenty four seven there’s no reason. If it’s not, and you’re living in constant stress over all your imagined troubles, then maybe you do but again it’s just not that simple. Basically, because the impulse to protect this shell of a person is so strong, anything that threatens it will be outright rejected. So what is this shell? It’s all the ideas you learned about life that you now think are true but aren’t. They are only true for you because you believe in them and nothing can convince you that you might be wrong. This then becomes a case not of self doubt but of self certainty. Maybe you know who you are, that’s actually a worse situation. If you are absolutely certain about who and what you are, you’ll go through life as a limited being who’s made a business out of being right, even when you’re dead wrong. Any person who portrays themselves as being in a position of power over others suffers this delusion. The question though isn’t how they exist the way they do, or how they are able to direct so many others into their line of thinking or doing, the real question is why are so many content even eager to be led astray? I mean let’s really think about it, if you don’t like war, don’t want to be in the midst of one, don’t want to choose any side on any matter, just want to live your own life how you want to, think what you want, do what you want (obviously this means not harming others, if what you want involves harming others it’s delusion, not Truth) why then are so many people powerless to avoid upholding what a few other people in power dream up? In other words, how did Nazi Germany really happen? How easy was it to take people out of some lowly mundane existence and turn them into evil monsters? If you watch the footage of ice agents here, you can see it plain as day. If you give lost souls some false moral purpose which strengthens the identity, they’ll do anything, no matter how insane it is. Insanity never factors into it. As long as they have some new found purpose, the purpose itself will take over. I can tell you this from here. Whatever hatred you have in your heart can be manipulated and you’d do well to rip it out while you have the chance. Even false love can be inverted. If you love this (because it strengthens the identity), you’ll invariably hate that. True love if you have it doesn’t want anything. It doesn’t even look to see what becomes of it. It’s just there, it keeps you company when nothing else can.

Once you know what you are, and what you can do, you won’t follow anyone else. Remember, following any crowd or movement has the markings of self betrayal and deceit. You are going to feel this immediately even if you don’t know that’s what you’re feeling, no you probably just think other people are pissing you off because they’re not acting the way you want them to. The very fact that you think you should care what they are doing or even saying is a falsehood that can be uncovered. You are in no way obligated to care what anyone does. That doesn’t mean you can’t. Of course not, caring about others is a natural impulse, while fighting them because they are not meeting your expectations is not. In the end, it should not matter two bits to you what anyone else is doing. If you can help because they ask you to and you want to do this, it’s no problem, but feeling like you are there to save them from themselves or anything else like that is just pure conceit for your own character and won’t end well. Other people can feel when they are being manipulated. They may be too naive to really know what it is that this manipulation is trying to do to them, but they feel it nonetheless. Somewhere somehow a person no matter how badly their life went or feels to them, knows that only they have the answer to their own questions. If however they don’t take the time or initiative to look for their own answers, then they’ll just accept someone else’s. This is obviously happening all the time. It’s really how groups or movements start or are formed to begin with. You got one loud mouth, who says come with me and by doing so, I’ll add meaning and purpose to your life. We can all get together and strengthen each others ego’s so no one escapes. Since most people are bored and lack their own knowing, the attraction plays on a person’s lack and reels them in like fish on a fishing line.

The real difficulty (once you’re awake or if you’re trying to wake) is that you encounter the world and its ignorance no matter where you go or who you talk to. Trust me when I say you can only talk to the fog. Your mind will automatically assume that you are having a conversation with another lucid being when it’s not. You can not encounter lucid people randomly so no matter where you go or what you do, there’s no telling what you’ll actually see or come across. The problem however is not what you’re seeing but how you are interpreting what you are seeing. Things are not what they seem. I would carve out a mental space for that one insight, because until your mind is back in its right state, you will misinterpret almost everything. You will be so confused that you won’t know which way you’re really going. It takes many years to discover that life unfolds minute by minute exactly as it wants to and you don’t have to oppose it. Opposing anything actually just means you like it and want it to continue even if you don’t know your own mind is playing this game with you. Resistance equals persistence. That’s the real reason that history repeats itself, it’s not because we want it to but simply because we consistently resist all the same things and we teach our children to do the same.

Let’s really look, for instance, at the whole schooling movement. What was it for? Ignorance right? People were dumb. They couldn’t learn and change on their own so the state decided to take the children away from their parents and introduced surrogate mentors. What did they teach then? Well, it started out with just reading, writing, and arithmetic, something that was deemed necessary to become a productive member of society. The children would often become more educated than the parents. The children would come home with these assignments and even if the parent had some schooling, they had no idea how to help with it. It was like their child was learning a whole new language, but what was really happening was alienation. The child was filled with a whole new system, one of educational prowess, while their parents just became dumber in their eyes and this pattern grew. It grew to elevate a select set of students over the entire population. You had those who were educated or smart and those who weren’t. This divide had several consequences. For one those who excelled in the school institution were rewarded with better paying jobs and positions in society that demanded they start making designs and decisions not just for themselves but for everyone. As a result the need to excel in this mental learning grew. It was seen that without it you couldn’t be anyone, certainly not a person with any influence. The world was then divided into those who played along and those who didn’t. Of course, neither side wins. The controllers are forever losing control of those they wish to control, and the controlled go on to despise their controllers. The drama then continues and ensues uninterrupted. This isn’t a flaw in the design though, it’s what makes the whole thing seem real. All the parts, all the persons, work together to create a dramatic lived reality. None of it is really there though, this is all mental gymnastics. The mind takes what it thinks it learns and makes up stories with it. We think and call these stories reality or even Truth. Let me tell you if you see the actual Truth, your face will fall, all the words you were used to uttering will completely fail, and you’d be left dumbfounded, in awe of the power that produces the whole thing. This however doesn’t help you in any personal way. Just seeing what it is doesn’t change your reality, in fact, you’ll never be able to change it. The question isn’t how to change it, but why you’d want to? All this drama you see gives life and purpose to millions of living beings. Without it, without this delusion of self importance what would they do? I’ll tell you what they’d do. They’d do nothing and the whole drama would shrivel up. Peace might spread across the land but as it did, another type of issue would set in, stagnation, one of absolute apathy. Contrary to popular opinion, peace isn’t the answer. Without a certain level of friction, nothing would grow, develop, or change. You need the storms, the wind, the upsets right along with the love and caring, rest and relaxation. Everything is bouncing off everything else. Without this movement there’s no drama, no conflict, absolutely no real interaction and no one and nothing to do.

The problem itself isn’t with this fundamental movement of life. Life doesn’t actually care how it goes or what happens to you or to anything. As long as there is life, and there will always be life, movements happen to continue it. On a personal level, it’s up to you to understand how life manifests this illusion if you want or plan to make the most of it because quite frankly this whole charade is not for suffering. Suffering is what happens when you mistake illusions for reality. Basically it’s when your own fear adds your own meaning and false ideas to it and they fail to produce the results you’re looking for but let me just say this: Nothing will ever go the way you think it will. In fact, experience itself doesn’t lend itself to this. Your mind may think anything at all, it will interpret how it will and this has no connection to anything. It’s only by changing one’s entire constitution that one comes to peace with the notion that what you think should happen won’t. Eventually, you actually stop interpreting since interpreting comes out of all your ideas and notions. This is a learned activity already, not a natural one. You think you know something and because of what you know actions follow that usually worsen the situation, never remedying it. Why is it like this then? Mainly, because your own energetic configuration is skewed. If it is everything else is also skewed. The so within so without is actually pretty spot on. Perception is a whole body experience, and if you take one piece away, if one capacity gets dimmed or dulled, nothing ever works properly again.

Usually that is. There are ways. If you want to return, you can.